Getting Older In My Youth

I'm getting old. Older, as my friend Amy (who is older in years perhaps, but much younger at heart) likes to say. Really though, I feel old. It hits me when I'm yelling at a kid to do his homework (ah, the joys of tutoring lol)—1st because I think of him as a kid when really there's a maximum age difference of 5 years & 2nd because he'll call me "teacher" or "miss" or worst of all "ma'am". It hits me when I get out of bed & everything cracks & I worry about my knee going out again. & hits me when I'm chasing Harry.

Harry is the puppy I recently gave to my parents as an early anniversary gift. He's soon to be 3 months old & an adorable fluff ball. At 1st sight he seems harmless.

See? Harmless, probably think he's all mellow & obedient. 

Wrong. 

Harry is not a calm child. I swear he has ADD & he's faster than a jack rabbit. When I was pup-sitting this weekend, I had the bright idea of taking him into the backyard without a leash.

There is only 1 word that can adequately describe that decision. That word is idiotic.

It took 1/2 an hour to corral him, & that was only with Sunny (Harry's 5 year old big brother) helping me.

I repeat, I'm getting old.

I am ashamed to admit that by the time we got inside I was exhausted & collapsed on the couch.

& it wasn't even that I'm out of shape. I'm not an exercise nut by any stretch of the imagination, but I do get in my daily exercise. I'm not the healthiest of eaters, but I don't live off junk food. I should have been able to keep up with Harry. 5 years ago I was in the same shape & eating the same foods, & I could keep up with Sunny just fine. So what happened? When did 22 become old?

I don't know. I think perhaps stress is to blame. 5 years ago my greatest concern was some lameass test I studied for 5 minutes before class & somehow still managed to pass with flying colors. Now my life revolves around the grades of others, the constant struggle for peaceful coexistence with my roommate, a ton of family concerns, money, the future—you get my point. A day without stress is a day spent in bed in a near comatose state. & that, my friends, is not living.

So, recap. Life=Stress Stress=Old Old=Old. & let's face it, I'm too young to be old (plenty of time for that later). 

What then is the solution? 

Maybe it's getting in shape, eating better, being healthier, all that crap. But let's face it, I probably don't have time for that crap. So then maybe it's acceptance only wait, I'm about the most self-accepting 22 female there is. I mean c'mon people, I don't usually wear make-up & I totally rock the jeans & t-shirt "I don't give 2 shits" look. Clearly I am not trying to be something I'm not.

Maybe my pal Amy's onto something. She's older, not old, & totally makes that work. She's living the 20-something year old dream with the responsabilities of a family woman in her 40s. So maybe I'm not like most 20 year olds. I'm a planner, an over-thinker, goal-oriented to the max. I'm married to my job & completely dedicated to building my writing career, & honestly neither binge drinking nor a starting a serious relationship sound like things I want to do. When I drink I drink responsibly, & dating is just way too much of a distraction from my big picture right now. I have responsibilities, I have plans, & that's my focus.

I'm 22, but I'm not your average 22.

I'm okay with that. But more importantly I'm learning to understand that while that may make me feel old, it doesn't mean I have to be old.

~AC