Ask AC

Dear AC, 

I seem to have stumbled upon a problem, & am hoping you can help. It's a potty problem. 

A little background: back home, we had three people living under one roof. A roof with three bathroom. & the occupants, all women.  Now, however, I find myself living in a household of six, half of them male. 

Here's the problem: They don't flush. & I'm not just talking about the young ones. I hate to be the potty police but I find things like flushing, putting the seat down, & turning the light off to be common sense. It's driving me nuts. Is there a way to tactfully bring up the subject or will I forever be forced to let this bathroom issue steam me?

Much thanks,

-Pissed off in Pottyville

Dear Pissed off in Pottyville,

Flushing is a major must. It's so common sense that Ms. Manners doesn't even bother to cover it. In no world should you have to learn to live with unflushed toilets. Likewise, no woman wants to accidentally fall in the toilet in the middle of the night because a man forgot to put the toilet seat down. (Been there, done that—haven't yelled so much in ages.)

You should remember that men are like dogs. The only way they'll learn is if positive behavior is enforced & negative behavior is punished. 

So here's my advice: the next time someone doesn't flush, bring it up. Laugh it off, but say "hey, think you forgot to flush" or "hey, could you please put the toilet seat down?" Give them time to learn, but be pleasantly obnoxious about it. Bring it up every time it's an issue. Eventually, they'll get so tired of hearing about it that they'll start flushing & putting the toilet seat down just to shut you up. When this happens, bake a cake or make their favorite meal. Let it be an unspoken reward for good behavior. You'll be surprised how often this works.

Best of luck—training men is often a longer process than training dogs.

Sincerely,

~AC

Who Needs Dear Abby?

Who needs some stranger to give you advice when you've got a best friend, right? Here at Turning Pages, we're not afraid to ask the hard questions...of each other.

Dear LB,

I bought a do-it-yourself basic alarm for the front door of my apartment & now my roommate thinks she doesn't ever have to lock the door. What do I do if somebody ignores the alarm & breaks into our apartment when I'm home alone in the mornings?

Yours,

Alarmed

Dear Alarmed,

Well I would first suggest finding a better roommate--or have her sleep in the closer room to the door, so if anyone gets whacked, it's her. Otherwise, might I suggest getting a well-trained dog? No? That's out of the question too, I suppose. My only other option would be to defend yourself, John Casey style. Really rambo it up.  None of these solutions help? Then I would try one of two things: either spend your whole roommateship walking around behind her to lock the door, or talk to her.

If it makes you feel better, if you do get an intruder, there's a 50/50 shot of solving the problem.  Hope I helped. 

-LB

A Rambling from LB

If you asked me five years ago where I saw my life going, well, this wasn't it.  I never thought I'd be virtually on my own, new job, new place, trying to make life work.  Hell, a year ago, I would have called you crazy.  Truth is, that's what life is.  It's crazy and ever-changing and I'm still not sure if I'm prepared for it all, but you know, I'm making it.

See, life isn't always pretty.  It's full of a million little choices.  Sometimes they're beautiful, sometimes they're ugly, but they all form together to make something real.  Something true.  And no matter where you are in life, good or bad, you should be thankful for them.  I mean, look at me.

A little over three months ago, I packed up over half of what I owned (thanks for keeping the rest at your house, Mama!) and moved approximately 724 miles away.  Away from my parents, away from my sisters, niece and nephew, grandparents.  Away from the only job I've ever had.  Away from my home.  And for what?  Because you know that's the question I'm always asked nowadays:  Why?

Because I moved to a tiny town in Sterns County Minnesota to know my family.  To find my roots. To go on an adventure.  I'm living on the same farm Daddy and his brothers were raised on.  I go to the same church my grandparents were married in, and learning more about my family than I could have ever imagined.  It's amazing.  Minnesota's gorgeous, and though it's been scary leaving my Indiana home, I'm happy here.

I thought, after the first couple weeks, that maybe I'd made a mistake.  What if I couldn't make it?  What if I never found a job?  What if I fell flat on my face with no one to pick me up?  But then I realized: look at how much I've accomplished.  I'm not sure anyone believed I'd make the trip.  Me: the dreamer.  The girl given to flights of fancy.  But here I am, working at the local gas station to pay the bills, staying with my cousin and his wife and their three kids while I save up money for my own place.  Even found me a man who treats me like I'm a princess.

I've told him on multiple occasions I'm definitely not ladylike enough for that, but I digress. 

The point of this story:  Life is never simple.  And leaving is never, ever easy, but sometimes you have to go out on a limb and go to find out what you can do.  A wise man once said:

"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door.  You step onto the road, and if you don't keep your feet, there's no knowing where you might be swept off to."

Wise words from Bilbo Baggins, my friend.  Completely true, as well.  Five years ago I'd never imagine such an adventure.  But then again, I also thought I'd finish college, never lose friends, and hate shrimp forever.  Dreams change.  I may never has seen Minnesota as home, but now? 

I can't imagine life without.

~LB

A Word From AC

People say a lot of things, & mostly it ends up being bullshit. Whoever planted the idea in our heads that growing up is great, for example, was full of it. Growing up is hard, & not always fun, & honestly very tiring. That's the truth. You don't always get to do what you want, & good thoughts & hard work aren't always enough to make your dreams come true.
 

Now don't get me wrong; it's not all bad. You know 1 of those silly little sayings I do believe? Everything happens for a reason. Okay, so it hasn't all worked out according to plan. Instead of getting my next degree & being paid to write, I'm tutoring athletes. If you told me even a couple of years ago that this is where I'd be at 22, I'd have laughed. Mostly because I don't know the 1st thing about sports. But you know what, I love my job. I'm still learning a lot, even if I'm not a student, & when I reapply to grad schools in the coming months I'll be a much stronger applicant because of the added experience.
 

Now you're probably wondering who I am, & why it even matters. The name's AC. I'm a recent graduate of the great Indiana University, a life-long learner & lover of knowledge (especially of the literary variety), & I'm going to accomplish everything I've dreamed & more. It may not be today or next week, & it's possible you'll never hear of me outside this blog. But the pages of my life are turning, & no matter where my wanderlust takes me, no matter how my dreams change or grow, I'm going to accomplish my goals. & in the process no doubt provide plenty of entertainment as I stumble through this big wide "real world".
 

Whoever said growing up was easy & great was full of shit, that's true. That doesn't mean I plan on backing away from the challenge though.

~AC